It’s been so hot this week that a toddler could be forgiven for throwing their toys out of the proverbial pram. In my case, I’ve taken this one step further and decided that I shall rip my nappy off at any given opportunity. I need to be free – why does nobody understand this?!
It all started last weekend – my big brother was strolling around naked (apparently 4-year-olds are averse to clothes) and I wanted some of the action for myself. I seized my chance while mummy was in the kitchen, and somehow wriggled free of my shorts by myself. Win! Ok, now to escape this t-shirt. That didn’t go quite so well (it’s hard to coordinate arms-getting-out-of-holes) so I had to yell at my brother until he pulled me free of the damn thing…and then I was only one nappy away from naked freedom…
I’ve been watching mummy fasten my nappies for months now, so I knew that I had to tug those velcro bits off…but that takes time and coordination, so I opted for the fail-safe method of pull-it-til-it comes-off – BINGO!
I was super proud of myself. Mummy didn’t seem to share my sense of joy and tried to put the mangled nappy back on – no way lady! I’m free and there’s no going back!
I thought I would impress her with some new skills, so I said “wee-wee” and took her to the toilet. She helped me stand on the little stool and I waited. And waited. And waited a bit longer. But nothing came. How embarrassing. There must be a secret button or something that daddy and my big brother press, because I’ve seen them do it and they definitely don’t wait this long. Note to self: find the secret button that makes you wee.
I styled it out, skipped the actual wee part and moved onto flushing and hand-washing. I’ve got that one down to a T. Mummy seemed quite proud that I could wash my hands by myself, so I let her coo over me, diverting her attention from the embarrassing-non-wee-situation. Stupid hidden button.
So one week later and I’m still taking my nappy off whenever the opportunity arises. I still haven’t found the secret button that makes you wee in the toilet, but I have discovered that if you stand naked on the carpet (or on the sofa), your wee just comes out all over the floor – who knew?! I thought that was pretty cool but mummy didn’t seem to agree and I’ve overheard her mumbling the words ‘potty’ and ‘not ready for this’ when she talks to daddy.
Not quite sure what she means, so I’ll report back once I find out what this mysterious ‘potty’ thing is that she keeps referring to. I just hope it comes with a built-in wee button.